Florida/Auburn Game Recap

Florida 6 - Auburn 17
Jordan-Hare Stadium
October 15, 2011

UF's Offense: Mike Gillislee--3 carries, 16 yards. The coaching staff said all week they were going to get him the ball more and boy, did they keep their word. But three carries is just too much for one player to handle. Charlie Weis has got to spread the ball around to the other guys in the offense to take the load off of Mike. I'm sure he was exhausted after the game. Bet he had to ice down the knees after that tremendous workload. My hats off to Mike, though. He carried the team as far as he could.

UF's Defense: They played a lot better, but still no turnovers for the third game in a row. Once again, Ronald Powell was nowhere to be found. He has been incredibly disappointing this year. It was like he wasn't even there last night.

AU's Offense: Stop cheering, Auburn fans. Your offense was only slightly less of a shitfest than Florida's. It's nothing to be proud of. The Tigers finished 1/13 on 3rd down conversions AND WON THE FUCKING GAME! Just let that sink in, if me yelling at you through the computer didn't resonate.

AU's Defense: Ted Roof lives to coach another day.

Player Of The Game: No one. No fucking one. I thought about giving it to Caleb Sturgis, but he got hurt. How the fuck does he keep getting hurt? Did a moth land on him? That game was a travesty of football. Everyone is worse off for having witnessed it. After today, I will no longer admit that I watched this game. I'd rather tell everyone I was at a bath house. Yep, that's what I'm going to tell everyone. I was at a bath house gettin' my sodomy on.

Quote Of The Game: "BULLSHITFUCKGODDAMNASSHOLEBITCHCOCKSUCKER!" -Will Muschamp, pretty much all night. We may not see eye-to-eye on a lot of things, ESPN, but thank you for placing your field mic so close to Muschamp. It was the only joy I got out of this game.

Quote Of The Game 2: "YOU GUYS AIN'T GOT NO GUTS, MAN!" -Muschamp to the refs. Once again, thank you, coach. Now I have something to yell when I'm on the phone with my insurance company.

Notes: After the game, in which Florida finished with 198 total yards of offense, they received a call from Big 10 commissioner Jim Delany about joining...Many Vanderbilt and Kentucky fans expressed pity for Florida last night...There were 3 separate reports of suicide in Gainesville that occurred during the game...Andre Debose left the game with an injury because it just wouldn't feel right if he didn't...Robert Clark will never be heard from again...Last night's attendance was a lot...Up next: Florida tangles with an open date before meeting up with Georgia in Jacksonville for the World's Saddest Cocktail Party for the second year in a row.