Florida Hires Ham Sandwich As Offensive Coordinator

Ham sandwich's hire comes as a
relief to fans who feared Mike Shula
being hired.

The University of Florida has announced the hiring of ham sandwich as their new offensive coordinator and quarterbacks coach replacing Charlie Weis who left for Kansas in December. Ham sandwich comes to Florida from the Oklahoma Sooners where he was set to be the team's co-offensive coordinator Jay Norvell's lunch. After Norvell turned down Will Muschamp's offer to be Florida's offensive coordinator, he asked Norvell about ham sandwich's availability. Prior to being made by Norvell, ham sandwich was processed in a factory in Deerfield, Michigan. This will be ham sandwich's first time calling plays.

Muschamp expressed excitement with his new hire. "I'm very excited to have ham sandwich be a part of our program. He's the blue collar attitude I'm looking for. It doesn't get more blue collar than a ham sandwich. I talked with numerous people throughout this hiring process and the one name that always seemed to come up was ham sandwich. He's gonna do a fantastic job for us."

"What he lacks in play-calling experience, he makes up for in toughness and his ability to connect with everyone he comes in contact with. I'm not worried about this being his first coaching job. I fully believe in him and I can't wait for the 2012 season," added Muschamp.

The ham sandwich's contract will be worth $700K annually for two years with incentives for bowl wins, like cheese and mustard. It also reportedly had an offer from Auburn to become their offensive coordinator, but officials at the school would not confirm.

The announcement of the hiring of ham sandwich does come as surprise to some. It's a name that came almost from nowhere. Many thought in the last 24 hours that a pile of laundry was the leading candidate to be hired, but according to a source close to the pile of laundry, it did not want to leave its family in Pennsylvania. Muschamp also interviewed a garden hose, a cinder block, a fork, an empty can of RC Cola, and a '94 Ford Probe.

Florida's offense finished the 2011 season ranked nationally 105th in total yards per game and 72nd in points per game and ran the fewest plays of any team in FBS. These are numbers that many believe a ham sandwich could improve upon.