Will Muschamp got into the Valentine's Day spirit today when he gave his wife, Carol, a human heart and a note that said, "Let's fuck." "He's such the romantic," said Carol. Last year, Muschamp proved his love for his wife by storming into the ocean and beating a shark to death with his bare hands. Since Will and Carol have been together, Carol estimates that Will has given her 14 violently beaten large game animals, 4 boxes of whiskey, a large chunk of granite, stock in Jack Link's Beef Jerky, three pairs of flannel pajamas, and a necklace made of ears over the years on Valentine's Day. "This was the most romantic gesture of all, though. He's made it hard to top himself with this human heart. I will cherish this gift and place it on the mantle next to the jar of teeth he's collected from his weekend bar fights." No details yet as to how Muschamp gained possession of the heart. Gainesville police are currently scouring the woods for a potential body.
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