Sunday, September 30, 2012

The Mailsack: 9/30/12

Do you really think Jacoby Brissett will transfer after this season?

-Jill

Not at all, because next year the NCAA is going to pass a rule allowing two footballs on the field at once, which means teams are going to need two quarterbacks. This is great news for Florida.

Can I get a retweet?

-@GatorzShinin89

No.

FSU's gonna fuck up the Gators in November! FSU's back, motherfucker. Fuck you and fuck you're Gators. We're gonna win the fucking national championship! Fear the sper, motherfucker! Your gonna get buttfucked in Doak. Its gonna be 3 years in a row of making you bitches cry. The Gators suck! Go Noles! Fuck you, again.

-FuckThaGaytors

Thank you for your email, but do you have a question? I don't see one. Perhaps you had to get back to work at Burger King and did not have time to ask what was, no doubt, going to be a very thoughtful and insightful question. Here's a question for you--how many hamburgers could you make at your job with the meat that fills your head?

I do not appreciate that kind of language. Typically, a person who relies on profanity in everyday conversation has a lower IQ and a very limited vocabulary. Your lack of eloquence and sophistication exposes your malnourished brain and reality television sensibility, commonly found in a Seminole fan.

Your use of the term "Gaytors" troubles me. I find it to be lazy, narrow-minded, and in bad taste. It's the insult of choice among small men. It never has, nor will it ever be funny to those who are intelligent, free thinkers. This is the worst email I have ever received. You are a sad man and I will pray for you.

Dude, I cannot fucking wait to play FSU! They're so fucking overrated. They beat a shitty Clemson defense and only beat shitty USF by 2 scores. We're gonna walk into that shithole Talahassee and fucking kill them!  Fuck FSU! They fucking suck. All there fucking fans think their back. It's fucking hilarious! fuck the Semen-holes! Go Gators!

-Brad King

Damn straight we're gonna fuck them up! God, fuck FSU! It's gonna be just like '97, we're going to fucking ruin their perfect season. Only this time it'll be in Tallahassee, so we can see all their tears wash away the garnet and gold glitter body paint. It's gonna be fucking great! I can't fucking wait, either, brother! Thanks for your email! This is one of the best I have ever received! Go Gators!

P.S. Holy shit, "Semen-holes"! I don't know why I never thought of that before. Hysterical!


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